Wi-Fidelity

Curse you, San Francisco: your wealthy citizens, your small total acreage, your tech-savvy public, your photogenic public servants, your relatively corruption-free public services.

Your warm, west-coast locale is already everything Philadelphia is not. And now it's going to be a hotspot, too -- way before Philly gets past its big talk, sucking up to local heavyweights like Comcast and Verizon, and perverse rich-poor, white-black politics. So now -- despite the backhanded compliment of being called New York's next borough -- we look like suckers.

Double dang.