Monday, September 25, 2006

By Contrast...

Last week, the New York Times ran an article about Detroit's mildly successful body collection industry, which prompted my first Short Schrift post in months.

This week, there's an article about a New York divorcee who recently moved from Westchester into a one-bedroom apartment in midtown Manhattan.

Let's take a look.
1) "It’s very touristy. This is a neighborhood where they sell single bananas in the food stores."

2) When her marriage came to an abrupt end two years ago, she found this apartment, a condo she sublets for just under $3,000 a month and which she described as “dangerously close to Bergdorf’s.”

3) “On the Upper West Side, everyone knew everyone,” she said of her early years there. “It was too much! I thought: ‘I’ve got a lot of friends. I don’t want to fill my friend list right now. I want to go someplace where I don’t know anyone.’ I wanted to land on a different planet.”

4) Ms. Pierson, executive creative director at 141 Worldwide, a subsidiary of Ogilvy & Mather, is also a writer and has completed her fourth book, “Males, Nails, and Sample Sales: Everything a Woman Must Know to be Smarter, Savvier, Saner Sooner,” now available from Simon & Schuster.

5) Snowy days and thunderstorms did her in. “Once we lost power right before the Tonys, and I wanted to kill myself,” she said.

6) "I get to know the carriage horses. Just seeing them everyday and saying hi is fabulous.”

7) So delighted is she to be back in the city, in fact, that she even rhapsodizes about the garbage trucks that crowd onto her street every night. Perhaps it helps that the trash comes from the particularly well-heeled, out the back doors of the Plaza and Ritz-Carlton.

8) “White people kill themselves. Black people kill each other. Chinese people don’t die.”
Hint: one of the sentences actually comes from the article about Detroit.

Note: if I had one wish, it would be that everything were different. Starting with myself.


Robin said...

You know what that last line is?

The first line of a novel.

If you don't use it I will.

Gavin said...


You would have loved the story immediately following: "Bored member of the upper-crust changes pedicurist."

including quotes such as:

"I had been with my old pedicurist for years, and felt like I knew her family as well as my own. Of course, I try terribly hard to not know my family at all, so I felt it was time to find a new set of anecdotes to ignore."

"My decorator recommended someone in the Village, and I thought it would be perfect. How bohemian, what an adventure! Even better, she only spoke Spanish, so I wouldn't have any idea what she was saying. She was, terrible though. My nails were so gaudy, I felt like I was walking around with the feet of a whore."

"I had been using an Eastern European woman for years, but I finally realized that in order to get a perfect French pedicure, I had to go right to the source. Now it's my favorite part of my weekly trips to the continent."

Jesus Christ. Who the fuck cares.